Newsletters ~ 2008

Just A Thought ~ 2008 > May 2008 ~ The Recipe

May 2008 ~ The Recipe

The Recipe

There comes a time in our lives when we realize that where we are is not where we thought we would be ~ whether it is in our career, our family, our marriage and relationships or the place we are resting within ourselves. For me, these reflections have happened throughout my life and were usually accompanied with pain that translated in to some form of fear (guilt, shame, worry, doubt, anger, confusion, etc).

I have noticed that I am not alone in this journey ~ that others I know and have known are bumping in to similar trials and tribulations which lead them to a place that appears to be very dark. I am sharing this with you, not to make you aware of my own moments of isolation but perhaps to share with you some comfort in your place where you may be right now. We all know what it is like to be alone, to long for that “soul mate”, to finally find what we are looking for and we usually believe that our answers will come in human form. I, too, have expected the same and sought for that answer, that dream, which Hollywood leads us to believe, will be found in another person. And when we least expect it.

I have been blessed with the opportunity for many people to share themselves with me, easily and with few, if any, reservations. Mind you that the majority of this time has been spent in conversations usually lasting for hours and hours and well in to the night, seemingly to be a time when the soul opened up as it was freed to express itself to a listener, or some would call, a medium. I have heard many personal details and thoughts, dreams, fears, anxieties, and, looking back, I know that I have been graced with the multi-dimensional aspects of the beauty of soul. A soul that is traveling along on its’ journey. One that allows me the privilege to hear, to learn, to share its’ travails, its’ accomplishments, its’ movements along the spectrum of love. During these conversations, I know that I am honored to host such an event and view it as a priceless treasure. This closeness to another’s soul is what spiritual intimacy means to me.

So what makes one person different than another? Why might we hold a special place in our heart for that person who loved us like no other, or was our “first love” or our last? Or perhaps we have never known such love in another person and continue to hope that our prayers might be answered.

Recently, a friend shared with me that a man she had met was “everything on my list” and she was touched by how many qualities this man held in her eyes. For those of us who have written a list, I suggest that you take out that list—yes, you know the one...go ahead and take it out now and place it before you.

I wrote my list in 1996 while I was on a business trip and waiting for my dinner in a restaurant. I was compelled to write my “recipe” for what I thought the perfect complement (or in my case, a man) would be at that time in my life. Yes, I still have the list. I read it every year or two to remind me of what I expected (and in some ways still do expect). My list is written in my handwriting on notebook paper and I have never shown it to anyone. It was an easy list for me to write and it took about 15 minutes to complete. When I had finished adding to the list I felt relieved and a sense of “ok, well that’s done now” as if I had placed an order in to the Universe to cook up a special entrée for me, that being in the form of “my man”. It was easy to expect perfection from another person as I had a few reasons as to why I wasn’t quite yet there, in myself.

So, have you taken out your list? Or have you not yet put it down on paper. I encourage you to take a few moments now to create that list or if you do have it in front of you, to read it out loud to yourself. Go ahead…I’m waiting. I stumbled across my list three weeks ago while I was unpacking some boxes and sorting through papers. Whenever I find my list I make sure that I read it carefully so as to remind myself of exactly what I am looking for in this journey.

Most of us, while reading our list(s), find it easy to read as we are placing possible conditions or judgments on the people we meet and will possibly become romantically involved with in our lives. Do they meet the criteria that we so carefully laid out for ourselves and easily project onto them, the unknowing objects of our affection? It’s a tough order to fill, as I found out, and seemed a bit difficult and unrealistic to me. Shortly after creating my list (I believe I heard this suggestion on a television show) I was inspired when I heard another approach to applying this list in my life. Instead of casting my list of rules upon the other person I was to begin to aspire to have these qualities, in myself, to share in my relationships. For example, if one of the items on your list was “caring and considerate of others” then you would say “I am caring and considerate of others”. It made sense to me then and still makes sense to me today. Now I suggest that you read your list with the intention of creating that quality in yourself instead of expecting it from another.

By changing the angle of my perception I was able to understand more clearly the importance of judging less, being less conditional, less hurtful, less gossipy, filled with less revenge ~ you fill in the blank for yourself. I have found that by reducing these “painful” areas of my perception even by 10% (as my closest friends have heard me say over the years) I have found more contentment, peace, and longer “glimpses” of the Oneness~ the Divine.

And I want to share it with you, whoever you are, wherever you may be on the planet or in your life. It could be a new life’s reSOULution that may help you and the ones that you love.

Take care of yourself…

Michaelene

Copyright 2008

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